The Road to 40 Day 360/365: Stars and Hearts

Che got a tattoo on Sunday. It’s going to be the third one that will be a permanent fixture on her body.

I’m not a big fan of tattoos. It’s a personal choice, much like her choice to have hers. As such, we agreed that I’m fine with her getting tattoos, but I wasn’t going to hold her hand even if the process hurts.

I wrote a blog about her first two tattoos way back when the message became something real for us.

“Alis volat propriis,” a Latin phrase that translates to “she flies with her own wings.”

I was heading back to the Philippines after sending her off to Singapore, where she was going to report to her first job here. I won’t be able to rekindle the feelings of when I wrote that one, so you can read the old blog by clicking the link. (It’s the Latin phrase)

Her second tattoo was a volleyball, made by the same artist on the same day. It’s her favorite sport, and her escape during her free time when I wasn’t here in SG yet.

She planned on getting another one before we left Vietnam. Our move to a new country helped us all grow in some ways. Vino went to a bigger school. I started life as a real housedad with no helper. Che bore more responsibility at work and showed that her potential can be actualized.

While we are Filipinos through and through, Singapore has become our family’s home, but Vietnam will always hold a special place in our hearts. As such, Che wanted to have a tattoo of their national flower, the lotus. Apart from it being a symbol of Vietnam, it also resonated with her from way back.

See, the lotus is apparently a symbol of resilience – the muddier the water, the more beautiful the flower would bloom. Like a diamond, it grows in adversity, which is something that she takes pride in as well.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to find an artist before we left. The idea was then parked for a while, because she never found the time, and she didn’t find an artist who could turn the vision into reality.

Recently, she connected with a Korean artist who was now based in Singapore, who did fine-line tattoos.

To add to the lotus flower, she saw a concept where a child’s fingers were plotted around a central figure. Vino holds hands with adults, but he holds on to our arms in a specific way that he doesn’t do with others. Che thought it would be nice to make a tattoo of that hand placement.

The original concept that she saw featured the fingers of a mother’s three kids. So to balance it out, she wanted to plot my fingers as well. My fingers were represented by stars, because she said I help guide her in her decisions. Meanwhile, Vino was represented by hearts, because her heart stopped beating for a while when she gave birth to him, and now it beats because of her love for him.

Only four of our fingers are plotted because the fifth one was meant to be at the lotus flower – our center.

While I don’t like tattoos for myself, I am always fascinated by the messages behind body art. Most of the people I know choose their tats because of a certain period of their lives or, for this latest concept, to give Che a constant reminder of why she does what she does. Body art, when done right, always tells the story of a person.

When Che said she was going to get this tattoo, she asked me if I was okay with it. As I told her before, I will always support her decisions, but as far as tats go, she will have to bear the pain of getting it alone. However, I am all for the message that this new art wanted to share.

This is a woman who constantly fights silent battles so that the people she cares about can live their absolute best lives. Her radiant smile that lit up rooms since she was younger remains one of her most noticeable traits. However, behind those smiles are the struggles and pains that she endured.

Where we are now, who we have become, and the things that we get to enjoy now did not come easy.

We have sacrificed a lot – time for family and friends, relationships we’ve built, the lives we’ve come to know, and even the people we grew up to be. When times get rough for us, we always remember who we’re doing it for – each other and Vino.

We get up, dust ourselves off, and continue to push through because we know that we’re building for a future that we want to live in.

Like her old tattoo, this comes at a perfect time. We’re facing a lot of challenges and changes in our lives right now, and the possibilities are both exciting and scary.

As she continues to soar with her own wings, I hope that the stars and hearts keep the lotus flower floating in the right direction.