The Road to 40 Day 199/365: Food and Connections

I was set to meet my cousin this day, so it was going to be a morning of preparations.

Vino broke his streak of waking up by himself early as he snuggled with Che in bed for an extra few minutes. I sat with him through breakfast, and since it was going to be the first day of his CCA, I asked if he wanted to bring his shoes.

He said no, so I got his sports glasses and gloves in his bag. However, as we were leaving and after I booked a car, he suddenly asked for his shoes, which couldn’t fit his bag because he also had swimming class this day.

I blew up because we had a car coming and he was asking for something that needed to be prepared. We had a lot of time before leaving – he even had time to go to the toilet with his tablet.

It’s a recurring discussion over these past few days. He’s been so distracted by his tablet or things he wants to do that he is neglecting things that needed to be done.

Che reminded me that I should be more patient, and I think I should. But again, I’ve been trying to get him to focus a bit more on things that he needs to do, and it seems I’m not getting across. While it seems he’s still a bit young to understand certain concepts, I think repetition helps him remember.

I’ve seen a few changes in him that he previously didn’t do, like greeting our drivers and answering whenever we call on him. I hope focus comes next for him. Che told me to make peace with Vino, but honestly, we’ve been like this on a regular basis.

We talk about it from time to time, and he knows that this comes from a place of love. I’ve asked him to let me be a dad for him from time to time, even if we could play like friends. He’s scared when I’m mad, but he knows that after I cool down, he could tell me anything.

We hugged before we parted ways, and he even looked back to me multiple times before going up to his classroom.

On my way home, I bought a few ingredients for dinner. I’ve already prepared a couple of banchan, so why not do a Korean spread?
It’s one of the fairly easy big meals I could make because after preparation, it’s all practically throw-in-the-pot kind of things.

Knowing I’d be busy, I bought this big ass pau from Nam Kee Pau. You’ve seen big paus, but I daresay it’s not going to be bigger and more filled than the Amy Yip Pau.

It was my short break before diving into the lab. I minced garlic and made extra for use later, then cut up some apples, onions, and spring onions. I marinated the bulgogi and made a quick beansprout banchan.

My cousin said his wife and kid don’t take spicy, so I thought of making doenjang jiggae instead of my usual kimchi jiggae. With everything set, I picked up Vino from school.

So after the ruckus in the morning, Vino apparently didn’t use his shoes anyway. He forgot it in his classroom, so of course there’s a bit of frustration again on my part – we had to argue in the morning for practically nothing.

When we got home, I asked how he felt in the morning. He said he was scared when I was mad, but that was it. I said sorry for being mad, and kept my mouth shut about any condition about it. I feel like I was never wired to say “sorry” to anyone. Hence, whenever I do, I unconsciously attach a condition to it.

“I’m sorry, but next time don’t do that,” has been a common theme for me. I want to practice saying “sorry” and just stop there. I feel like it would be better for him to hear it like that as well.

It wasn’t long before my cousin arrived with his family. I was still doing the gyeran-jjim, so I asked them to wait a bit. He joined me in the kitchen to catch up while his kid and wife stayed in the living room.

We waited for Che to arrive before we finally ate together.

My cousin is a few years younger than me, and definitely not in my age group. They live in Davao, so we don’t usually see each other, but I appreciate that he finds time to meet up whenever they are in Singapore.

We weren’t really close growing up, but I’ve learned that closeness is never a requirement to connect with people.

I’m happy that I know how to cook now, because it’s a great way to invite people over for chats like these. Even if we don’t meet often, talking over food helps start conversations, and offering food that I cooked is just my way of showing I appreciate people for spending time with us.

There were plenty of dishes to wash, but our tummies and hearts were full, so it was worth it.

Before heading to bed, I wrote a letter to an old friend as well. Earlier in the day, she asked me to do it as a favor, as it was an assignment for a course she was taking. Of course, I was happy to do it.

I’m not sure if I did it right, but I used it as an opportunity to reflect on our friendship and how I’ve known her all these years. I’m always happy to see my friends thrive in their chosen paths, and she is one of those whom I seldom see, but I know that she is in a good place.

After writing, I went to get some sleep, playing The Last Samurai Standing in the background. I was liking it until I fell asleep, so I know I’ll be watching more of it tomorrow.