The Road to 40 Day 12/365: The roads back home

by | May 22, 2025 | Strawberry-Filled Donuts

One of the highlights of my day is usually the time when I go home after dropping Vino off from school.

As much as I love being around people and family, getting time for myself is always a good way to catch up with everything.

Back in Vietnam, it was my time to walk around the streets. Here, it’s my time to either sleep on the bus, walk home, or play basketball by myself like I did the other day.

During this time, I get to listen to podcasts or music and just get lost in the thoughts and feelings of the people I listen to.

It’s a chance for me to reflect on what’s going on in life, maybe think about new recipes, or remember to connect with people I haven’t heard from in a while.

After I picked up Vino from school, he once again asked to walk home. I honestly didn’t want to, because he was going to go to football training later on and I was just not in the mood to walk.

But when he asks for moments like these, it’s hard for me to say no.

I get to hold his hand while we talk about random things.

Instead of all Brawl Stars talk though, I thought I had to talk to him about the realities of our life as a foreign family in Singapore.

I wanted to ask his thoughts about Che working in a different country and us going with her.

He didn’t like the idea, frankly. I guess he has built close enough relationships in his new school to really want to stay here.

He said he was ok staying here while mommy works elsewhere because he gets to stay with me. While it sounds sweet, it really felt like pandering just to advance his own desire to stay here in Singapore.

I honestly don’t know what to feel about it.

On one side, it’s nice that he has his own preferences and he could resort to pandering like a natural-born politician. On the other, I already feel his pain if we do leave at some point.

But, I’ve always told him that the best way we can show love for Che is to support her in every way she needs. And as long as circumstances allow, where she goes, we go.

He agreed later on, saying he does want to be with his mommy as well.

I reminded him that he didn’t want to stay in Vietnam initially and now he also can’t stop talking about how much he loved it.

Vino had football training, so that was our night time activity.

I still hover around him, checking out tendencies of his teammates so he can emulate the good ones and not copy the bad ones.

I like listening to the coach’s drill instructions to see what I can use when we’re doing drills ourselves.

During breaks, I’d give reminders to Vino, and when they were losing the match, I could hear the frustration in his voice when I remind him of things I already told him before.

I get it, really. I can see that he’s trying but if I let him watch videos of his whole training, he’d understand why I keep repeating some things.

On this day, they played with the older kids. That group was a little more structured and skilled and they lost really badly. He has a couple of teammates who are really good, but acts like they’re better than they really are.

Che was able to come to the training for the first time since the first day and she saw Vino in action.

During his first break after seeing his mom, Vino went up to her and asked her not to move to a different country for work.

This proves that he listens, he understands, but he still has his preferences.

I do agree that we should stay. Che does too. But we really don’t control fate and opportunities.

From experience, I believe moving out of comfort zones immensely helps in growth. I haven’t seen anyone leave their comfort zone and regressed in life.

Even for his part, Vino has grown leaps in just one year in Vietnam.

So if there is a chance that we are going to leave the country that we called home this whole time that we have been a family, I believe the rewards would be far greater eventually.

It’s not a chance that’s going to happen in the next 3 months at least, but I think it’s best to prepare Vino’s mindset on these possibilities so that if it does happen, it won’t be as difficult or a surprise for him.

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