The Road to 40 Day 100/365: Life Talks Sunday

We had the opportunity to visit my uncle and cook for him, which was also a chance for us to catch up.

Che, Vino, and I woke around the same time, and we spent a bit of time in bed first while ordering food for delivery.

Vino sleeps with us in bed. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable as he takes up a lot of space, and now that he’s taller, he takes even more space and almost kicks us out of bed at times.

However, how can I not love this when we get to do this on weekend mornings?

He will eventually move to his own bed. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready for it, but it’s an inevitable reality in the future.

We visited my uncle’s house down south of the metro. It’s one of the coolest houses I’ve seen and I’ve always wanted Vino to see it with child-like wonder. I mean, I’m impressed as an adult, but with the games and features of his house, it was going to be even more amazing for kids.

I promised to cook him my signature beef salpicao. As I previously mentioned, I will always go back to this dish when I want to be sure that it is going to be an enjoyable experience.

I prepped bok choy in oyster sauce as well as kimchi soup for variety. I’m glad it was a hit. He even said it could be served in a restaurant.

I take it as high praise from someone who has eaten some of the best food the world has to offer. 

We had a tour of his house, which Vino enjoyed. Apparently, Che hasn’t seen it in full as well, so she was also seeing it with fresh eyes.

Vino saw a chessboard in the entertainment room and asked to play. My uncle, who’s always game, obliged. I let Vino do his thing, but saw that my uncle was really analyzing his moves.

Of course I had to take it seriously as well.

Unfortunately, Vino’s opening was really bad, and I couldn’t save it.

We later caught up to talk about how life is going so far.

He worked hard for the life he has, and it’s a comfortable life, to say the least. He comes across as very bossy, maybe even preachy.

When I was about seven or eight years old, I was asked to write a letter of apology because of a dumb kid thing I blurted out. I’ve also heard a lot of stories from my mom, which made me terrified of him. I always had to watch my actions and words whenever I was around him.

I gained a quiet confidence when I became an adult that helped me talk to different kinds of people. It helped that my uncles from the Lozada side of the family let their guards down from time to time and shared their vulnerabilities when we spoke (mostly drank). 

It helped me see them as humans instead of infallible gods just because they were older.

With this mindset, I tried building relationships with my mom’s side of the family. When we visit home, we always try to catch up with him and my mom’s other brother.

My uncle’s wife, my mom’s sister, was one of the nicest people I’ve known. I daresay she was the reason why my uncle became a human capable of love. Without her, he would have been a machine bent on reaching incredible heights in his industry.

Sadly, she joined our creator a few years back, losing a long battle with the big C. Since then, my uncle has mostly been by himself in his amazing house. His kids have chosen to build lives for themselves in other countries.

Right now, probably faced with the reality of his mortality, he is so far removed from the person who asked me to write that letter of apology. He doesn’t cut us off as much, and he actually accepted our point of view after a couple of back-and-forth discussions. 

After all, stripped of all the fancy cars, all the luxuries he has afforded, and the position he earned through years of working, he is just a man who misses his wife dearly.

Raising his kids was a double-edged sword – he needed to work to give them a good life, but he couldn’t have a proper relationship with them. Now that he’s not getting any younger and his kids are away, he should be spending his time with his wife, visiting his kids where they are, and enjoying the life he built for them.

But he can’t have that. There are just some things that money can’t buy.

I’m proud that he’s staying tough through all these. He said he understands he has to live with the consequences of his decisions. He can only hope for things, but pity is never one of them. And I respect that. 

We check up on him because we can. Whether he opens up to us or not is always going to be his choice. But Che and I know that if we were in his shoes, getting random visits like these would be greatly appreciated.

He is family, and he’s been good to us. If anything, we do want to learn from his experiences as well. We can only hope he finds a shared happiness with his kids while they still have time.

At least on this day, I’m happy with the opportunity to reconnect with him, cook for him, enjoy peaches he offered, and re-open his game room for a little while. 

We went back to our house to drop off the car and eat some isaw and barbecue with my sister. Che’s sisters were sick, some of our friends were away, so we didn’t have visitors for the night.

We had dinner delivered and caught up on our K-Drama. It at least gave Che a bit of normalcy before the start of another work week.

It’s the last two weeks of Che’s PH stint, so we’re hoping this family cuddle time gives her the energy she needs to power through the new week.

Related Content