The Road to 40 Day 1/365: Turning 39

Celebrating birthdays is a constant evolution.

When I was a kid, I remember it as a day when I would get gifts, of course, with the expectation of toys. As I grew older, clothes were what excited me, because I didn’t usually buy my own clothes. Even later, alcohol would be fun gifts because it offered a promise of a good time in the future.

However, as the years go on, gifts are no longer the highlight of birthdays.

With every passing year and every family, friend, or acquaintance lost, I come to grips with my own mortality. Living and waking up to a new morning become the gift.

But my wife makes it a point to make every birthday a new experience of feelings I sometimes may or may not have had before.

This year, it’s a quiet one.

Not a lot of friends or family, just the three of us spending time together. We were joined for dinner by our practice baby, Steph, and the guy we happily welcomed to our lives, James.

Che got me a go-kart session, and while they didn’t join me on the track, it allowed me to just fire up my competitive spirit and just fly in a car in a proper venue.

We had a filling dinner with adult conversations and later popped a bottle of wine to reminisce about the past to offer a perspective on where we are now.

While I enjoy the loud and fun company of everyone on my birthday, celebrations like today are also nice. After all, at the end of the day, the three of us will always be the “why” I get up for every single day.

“Why” I do what I do.

“Why” I choose the life I live.

“Why” I make the decisions I make at this point in my life.

Now that my birthday has ended, I’m officially 39. I remember how we made fun of my uncle before when we said “di ba kwarenta ka na?” as if it’s a sin to be 40. And now, here I am, a year away from that age.

I’ll take this chance to thank everyone who stuck by me through all this time as well as the new people in my life who have opened their hearts to make a connection with me. Amidst the looming concern of mortality, knowing that I have you in my life makes my heart full, no matter how you know me.

Here’s to more years ahead for us to catch up again!

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