The Road to 40 Day 363/365: The Daily Commute

One of the best things about Singapore is how safe the streets are.

When I was younger, I was always told to be home when it gets dark because it’s “dangerous.” However, since living in Singapore, I’ve found that night time doesn’t have to mean danger.

Women clad in yoga outfits can run anytime of the day with confidence. Kids as young as six or seven take the bus or trains by themselves on a school day. Heck, there was one time I couldn’t sit on a table because someone “reserved” it by putting the key of their Mercedes on it.

Sometimes, when I take Vino to school in the morning, the Grab driver would be surprised that I’m riding with him. Besides, he said, I can let him ride the car, say goodbye, and watch his trip progress in the app.

I guess no matter how long I’ve lived here and attest to how safe it is to live here, I just want to make sure that I can watch over Vino because I can. Chances are, the kids who go home by themselves have both parents working, so they don’t have the capacity to pick up their kids.

However, I understand that at some point, Vino has to be able to learn how to travel by himself. In his first year in his current school, teachers brought them down to the canteen so that parents can pick them up. This year, the kids go to the canteen by themselves. By next year, they would be free to leave the school by themselves at dismissal time.

Vino insists that he could go home by himself. I believe him, I truly do. He knows the route well, as we’ve been going through it for the past couple of years.

However, there are times that I just worry as a dad.

It doesn’t help that the series that we’re watching, Phantom Lawyer, has a case of a kid going missing after both parents failed to pick him up in time after school. Apparently, there was a psychotic detective who did a talk in their school that day. After classes, he saw the kid, invited him to ride a “cop car” and proceeded to kidnap him.

It’s probably unlikely to happen in Singapore, but still, I can only act on things that I can control. It’s precisely why I want to be around Vino for as long as I can.

Still, the reality is he has to be on his own soon. So right now, we’re trying this thing where I won’t hail buses or press the button to stop it. He’s essentially commuting by himself, while I’m just in for the ride.

He’s been too comfortable with me just telling him it’s time to ride or time to go down, but with just under two months until the end of year 4, we need to try to get him used to doing things on his own.

Personally, I went on public transportation regularly on my own when I was in first year high school, around 12 years old. So I am still a bit worried about Vino doing this when he’s 9. However, we’re in a different place, in a different time, in a way more efficient public transport system.

I’m hoping to have the strength to trust that he can take care of himself, have enough focus to do what he has to do, and be brave when things don’t go his way.