The Road to 40 Day 113/365: Science Birthday and a Welcome Home

It’s a farewell and welcome day, as it was Rey and Lia’s last day in SG and Che set to arrive later in the day.

Vino’s year level now uses tablets in school, so most of his classmates also have access to gadgets now, whether parents like it or not. Before he started the school year, I created an email address for him so that he would have his own profile on his tablet. Also this way, I can manage restrictions to his usage and apps.

So now he’s adding a few friends to his Facetime account. He’s been playing with Neo and Tia before, and now he has access to his friends as well.

Despite sleeping a little later than usual the night before, Vino woke up relatively early at around 7:30am. He took his tablet and immediately called a friend. I was supposed to tell him to make sure his friend is available first before he calls, but the guy picked up, and they were off.

I don’t know how other parents manage the gadget time of kids, but I was fine with them playing since it’s the weekend. However, I’d have to monitor them because other kids might have limits during weekdays.

It’s practically the modern day telebabad, I feel like. When before, we’d talk to friends for hours on the phone, this time they’re video calling while playing games.

They played practically the whole morning, and we had to leave by lunchtime for a 1pm party.

Just before we left, Vino decided to wash his toy that he thought he lost the previous night and wiped it with his shirt. I blew up because he had the whole morning and a lot more time in the afternoon or the next day to do it, and he decided to do it during the window of him walking from the bedroom to the front door.

He practically didn’t talk to me except when we were playing 99 Nights with his friend, and then as we were leaving for something he knew we were doing that day, he decides to do an unnecessary thing for that short amount of time.

I told Che about this and she just asked that I have more patience with him. I want to say I tried, but I just blew up. We’ve had zero incidents this whole two weeks while Che was away, and this few hours before she came, I blew up. I guess it happens.

I realized at this time that it’s so difficult to get angry without cursing. Sometimes, we curse when we speak with friends casually and happily, but we try to avoid it as much as possible around Vino.

While we understand we can’t shelter him from everything and it will soon be part of his vocabulary, we try our best to show that it’s possible to avoid. He certainly knows about these words from friends, things we watch, and whatnot, and we just remind him that he knows it’s not a proper thing to say and hope it sticks.

My dad never smoked, but Che’s parents did. However, both of us don’t smoke. I could say that the environment can influence what children do, but what the kids will do will ultimately be their decision.

Anyway, I was not in the best of moods when we arrived at Quinn’s party. Vino, despite being a bit scared to talk to me, clung onto me because he didn’t know the people around. I let him go do what he does and he eventually just kinda hung around and naturally played with others.

Later, they were asked to sit down for a science show.

This was the first time I was going to watch a show like this. Normally, it’s magicians, but this guys did amazing things using science concepts. He use dry ice, boiling water, spun water in a cup without any of it dripping, and a lot more. Even the other adults (including me, naturally) were learning things as he explained them.

With a beer can on one hand and a few canapes on my side, I was good to go.

After the show, I got a chance to catch up with Rey a bit.

Rey was my classmate in Don Bosco in our first year in high school before we went our separate ways. We learned during enrollment in UST that we were in the same class, so we went reconnected.

As the years went on, we became part of the same friend group, and he’s been among my closest friends over the years. I told him that I was prepared to cut him off my life at some point because he wasn’t present. There were times that he’d be in and out of SG without us getting word that he was here.

I didn’t know where I stood with him, but over the recent years, he’s been arguably one of the most mature people I speak with. I said I have come to understand the dynamic of our friendship.

These past couple of months and some recent events have caused me some anxiety, I feel like, that led to me re-evaluating friendships. Rey, as if echoing what Che has been telling me when I opened this topic to her, helped me understand that my frustrations come from my expectations.

I told him that I was at a loss before when Vino was younger because I kept telling him to share. But when other kids didn’t share, Vino would give me a helpless look as if to say, “why isn’t the other kid sharing?”

I could only say that there are people who are not going to share, but sharing is a nice thing to do, and he should be the person who chooses to be nice.

As he grew older, I always try to instill in him the value of treating others the way you want to be treated. But now that I’m experiencing something where my efforts are not reciprocated according to my expectations, I feel disheartened teaching that value to Vino.

But, as I was told during our relatively brief conversation, I should also apply my other lesson to Vino – not everyone will act the way that I expect them to. It’s not like I should stop caring as much as I do, but I should not expect to be cared for the same way I do.

The better I incorporate this in my life, the more at peace I’d probably be.

I helped clean up after the party and went up to Kuya Tata’s place for some post-party stories. I also helped clean the food up a bit, so apart from eating dinner there, I had to take home some food.

I asked Steph and Issa if they wanted some so that I can send some over to them because Che, Vino, and I can’t possibly finish a whole tray of Rey’s awesome mac and chix – not a typo, it’s mac and cheese with chicken.

Before we went home, Vino and I dropped by a friend’s workplace, a butcher shop near Cluny Court. I haven’t cooked for Che for a while, and I wanted something quick for her when she arrived. I got a nice ribeye my friend recommended.

When we got home, I asked Vino to write a card for Che for a job well done in the PH and welcoming her back home.

Che’s flight was delayed by an hour, and she would probably just choose to sleep. But she at least had some food before calling it a night.

Vino kept bugging her to play Grow a Garden, so they did some of that while I cleaned up.

Che crashed on bed earlier than Vino, understandably tired from everything. But finally, her role in the PH was done, and we’re back on our first day in our old normal.

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