I never dictated what Vino would like to do as I’ve always wanted him to find his own path. But that doesn’t mean I have to give up everything that I am for him.
I love basketball – watching it, playing it on the court, playing it on the console, and even reading and talking about it. I’ve developed a love for it beyond players or teams. A good game is a good game for me, doesn’t matter who plays.
When I visit the PH, I make it a point to set up a game with friends and friends of friends. I don’t always know everyone, but it’s always a fun time.
However, I never forced Vino into it. I found it on my own, which is why I think I developed a passion for it. I want that for Vino, so I introduce him to several sports and just let him do what he feels like doing.
He ended up with football, so here we are.
I am becoming a football dad, taking him to practice, watching his games, and being one of the annoying voices who shout instructions even if there’s a fully capable coach present.
On this day though, I brought my basketball with me. Instead of just watching him practice, I decided to get some sweat out by shooting some hoops myself.
I still see what he does, but I’m getting to do something I like at the same time.
I’ve given up a lot since becoming a dad. I can honestly say 10-15 years ago me is different from who I am today. But still, there is a lot of me that I kept to still be who I am. Basketball is one of them.
I may not be as passionate about it as I was before, but I’ve always kept it a part of my life. I made good friends because of it, and it continues to help me build my own community wherever I may be.
Looking at the bigger picture, I don’t regret the things I gave up. I wouldn’t trade my life right now to my life before.
It’s a timely realization because earlier this day, I was cleaning up a transcript for a fighter. He talked about a lot of things that resonated with me. Among those things was something about anxiety that reminded me of a good friend of mine.
I appreciate the fact that he indulged me with my random check on his well-being. It’s not really something we usually do. We’ve known each other for years and we don’t really randomly say “how are you?” and really mean everything – physically, mentally, emotionally.
Our friend group recently had a milestone, which he admitted he kinda felt bad that I was not part of because I’m living in a different country.
I told him that while I do feel bad not being part of the celebration, I have long accepted the reality that I will not be part of a lot of celebrations because of the life I chose.
It’s one of the reasons why my 38th birthday was quite emotionally charged for me. Che helped arrange for everyone to fly into Vietnam to celebrate it.
Some people talk about me being good to Che, but a lot of them overlook how Che sets the bar really high.
Anyway, it used to crush me knowing I couldn’t do the things I used to enjoy, but since having Vino in my life, it wasn’t that bad anymore.
I’d have that “aww, shucks” feeling but I never looked at Vino and thought “I’d be out there if it wasn’t for you.”
My friend and I talked a lot about how life is going on this random Wednesday, and it’s probably the most serious talk we’ve had in this decades-long friendship.
As I told him, if we can’t talk about these things comfortably at this point of our friendship at the age we are in now, then what kind of friends are we, really?
On a slow day, this would have probably been the highlight of my day. But considering how Vino and I ended Tuesday, I appreciated that he was still in good spirits this day.
When I picked him up, he gave me a small pouch that he said he sewed for me for Father’s Day.
It used inconsistent threads to keep it together and it probably won’t hold small things (or anything at all, actually), but it was made with that intention and it was given with such happy eagerness that I want to figure out how I could actually use it.
Right now, it’s a needless pouch for my wallet, but it’s still gonna be in my bag on a daily basis now.
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