The Road to 40 Day 14/365: Secrets and bridges

This day made me question my moral principles and where I drew the line on it.

I’m great with secrets. I understand the amount of trust given to me when a secret is entrusted, and I repay it by keeping it to the best of my abilities. Even if you got me drunk, I wouldn’t say anything about it.

But once a situation crosses the line of my principles or if lives are going to get affected and people are going to get hurt, I would gladly offer the information I have if I think it would help.

It led to one of my friends being not so open about things to me as he was before, and it even got me running away from a crazed guy with a broken glass in his hand ready to stab me with it.

Looking back at both, I probably would do it again.

On this day, I was put in a similar situation of choosing between keeping a friend’s wishes and staying honest when asked about something they are going through.

I know we all have our secrets. I’ve shared mine with people because that’s just me. But I know that the secrets I have will not harm anyone.

For people around me, there are secrets like that as well. I don’t judge people for it, and there are even times that they are admitting something that they are already in the process of stopping precisely because they could hurt someone.

But if it’s gonna be a constant problem like maybe a kid, a third party that’s going super well, or maybe even long term money issues, I’d probably spill a little bit.

I asked myself if I was a bad person for breaking someone’s trust, and I probably am in the eyes of most, but it’s my way of helping my person break away from a negative cycle they may be on. It could hurt in the immediate present, but it’s going to hurt more if that negative secret runs longer and deeper.

Been through it, saw people go through it, and it’s never good for anyone.

As I grew older, I’ve been more vocal about this without the fear of losing my friends. After all, if I lose them because of this, then we probably shouldn’t really be friends. Another factor is that I’m happy with who I have in my life right now.

My best friend has always been my wife, and even if I lost everyone, my world will be ok because I have her.

That was a big part of my day, and the latter half was spent with Vino, as per usual.

Picked him up from school and we hung out at a hawker place nearby before going to football practice. He said he didn’t want to eat much, but he ended up eating two char siew paus and half of a kaya butter toast.

I met one of the football dads of Vino’s teammates and heard some good insights from him about what he expects from this football program. I feel like I have to practice more drills with Vino to help him because he looks frustrated on the pitch whenever he doesn’t save a ball or doesn’t get a pass when he’s playing.

I’m thankful that I got to play a lot in Don Bosco and a lot of my friends taught me well there so I can pass on some tips to Vino. My cousins also have good football knowledge so that helps me connect with Vino and the shows he watches sometimes.

Later at night, Vino watched a movie with us, My Future You, on Netflix. It’s a Filipino movie that was meant to be a background movie until we fell asleep, but we were all invested in the story somehow.

You’ll see in the picture below where he was watching the movie on our bed.

It was almost 1AM and Vino had a long day, we had to convince him to sleep already instead of finishing the movie. It wasn’t even two minutes that we felt that he was asleep already. He got up a bit and looked for something to cuddle with.

It’s these kinds of nights that I sometimes feel that I’m not ready for Vino to stay in his own bed.

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